Awakening. 44 hours (and counting). Numb.

Roan Rotzyk, Dreams, Awakening, Rotzyk, Creative, Creativity, Bizarre, Hallucinations, Vision, Vivid, Lucid, LSD, Trippy, Drugs, Psychedelic, Alien, Otherworldly, Otherworlds, Interdimensional, Creature, Knowledge, Art, Drawing, Stippling, Illustration, Canvas, Print, Poster, DRIP, Story, Narrative, Nightmare, Surreal, Surrealism, Surrealistic, Apocalyptic, Apocryphal, Horror, Thriller, Bizarro, Absurd, Talent, Genius, Brilliant, Thomas Roan


19 days ago, I didn’t know I could draw. Now I can’t get these images out of my head.


That probably makes me sound a little crazy. In fact, I know it does.


Maybe it sounds unbelievable. Plenty of my friends have called “bullshit.” Then I send them a video. It certainly feels surreal, even to me. I don’t know any other way to describe it.

I just feel… compelled.

When I start drawing one of these “visions” (for lack of a better word), it’s almost like someone else is behind the wheel… my hand moves with no effort. I zone out, relax, and let the image come.

Every time I close my eyes, I’m seeing all these alien landscapes; surreal signs of civilizations beyond our world. I’ve read about a few other writers and creatives who experienced similar “awakenings” in their lives. At least one of them was actually suffering Grand mal seizures. So, you know…

Nothing to worry about.


Is this how all artists work?

I’ve always wished I could create beautiful art. I’ve never been able to make more than cute doodles on dry erase boards or simple stick figure comics. I can barely draw a straight line ( as far as I know, I still can’t. The images I’ve made so far have been chaotic. They’re uncontrolled but highly detailed. Surreal to the point of being otherworldly.).

Over the last 19 days, I’ve created more than a dozen illustrations using a hybrid stippling/crosshatching technique, which, of course, I cannot explain.



Suddenly, my friends and family are saying things like, “I didn’t know you could draw!”

“Where is this coming from?”

“How are you doing this?”


I simply don’t know.


I’ll keep updating this journal every day until I figure something out… or until the images stop. I don’t know when or if either will ever happen.

Even more: I don’t know if I want it to.


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